I thought it would be interesting, if not entertaining, to delve into the world of EvE Bloggers. There’s this guy, Crazykinux (possibly better known for putting people to sleep with his podcast “Drone Bay Active” or some such bullshit), who is really into this blogging thing and apparently has a monthly ‘EvE Blog Banter‘ where some question or topic is posed and people with blogs write about it. Kind of lame stuff, I admit, but this month, there are prizes! Truth be told, I’m an accomplished swag whore and I want that fucking EvE bottle opener key chain.

This months topic on the EvE Blog Banter is:

Which game mechanic would you most like to see removed completely from EVE and why?

An intriguing question, no doubt. I have briefly perused some responses made by people linked on Crazy’s blog.  I am not overly impressed.

“REMOVE PUBLIC CONTRACTS IN ORDER TO REMOVE SCAMMING” (Caps make it a stronger argument)

This one comes from a former BOZO member who apparently has spent too much time in a wormhole. I like the idea of a game where you can get scammed. It’s funny when I hear about assholes who do stupid shit, and if you get scammed in a contract, you are an asshole that did stupid shit. We shouldn’t be protecting assholes who do stupid shit. They should be exploited and punished, otherwise they just keep being assholes and keep doing stupid shit.

“Insurance payouts for losses to CONCORD limited to 10% of normal payout value.”

You’ve got to be kidding me…with everything that is fucked in this game, this douchnozzle is worried about insurance payouts to dipshits who get Concorded? I don’t even know how to address this completely retarded suggestion. And if you want to stick the rules, this isn’t even a removal of a game mechanic, it’s just a change to a current system. A very lame, weak and pointless change.

“Please remove everything in EVE and set us on a journey of a lifetime!”

I don’t even know what this means, but I’m pretty sure this guy has had a penis in his mouth at least twice in his life. It’s a game, not a fucking Carnival Cruise dipshit. Go choke yourself.

With competition like that, I should be a shoo-in for that sweet fuckin’ key chain. I thought for a whole 47 seconds on what I would remove from EvE and I came up with three systems I would get rid of:

Remove Missions: If you like to run missions, over and over, either go play WoW or shoot yourself in the head. Either would suffice. You have something seriously wrong with you. The mission system in this game only encourages people who I will probably never get a chance to shoot in the face to perpetually log in, take up server resources and spread faggotry around the game I love.

Remove player list in local chat: Once the missions are deleted, the “I love repetitive shit” type mission runners will need new repetitive shit to do. I would think that a bulk of them would move out to low-sec or 0.0 to rat. Once there, they will be unable to see me and my fellow BOZOs warping to their belt with our dicks out in preparation of raping his mouth if he couldn’t see us in local. Ratters have had it way to easy. Much of EvE is based on Reward vs. Risk, and if you have have a brain, it’s pretty risk free ratting in 0.0 with the current local chat set up. I think the risk should be elevated a bit.

Remove the ‘Harassment’ section of the petition system: You can only be harassed in this game if you want to be harassed. That is unless you use petition someone for harassment, then you are not only being harassed by a player, but by the fucktard GMs of CCP as well. It’s common practice now to petition every little thing an opponent might say or do to you when you can’t beat them in a fight. Myself and many of my brother and sister BOZOs have been victims of such faggoty tactics. So a BOZO told you that he was going to cut your mom’s vagina off, frame it and stick it on his wall? Who gives a shit. That’s what the fucking ‘Block’ option is for.

So, in summary: Most EvE blogs suck, punish missioners, punish ratters and stop punishing BOZO with lame petitions. Oh, and gimme that god damn key chain!

The rules of the game require me to post this:

Welcome to the ninth installment of the EVE Blog Banter and its first contest, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux. The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed here. Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!
Last month Ga’len asked us which game mechanic we would most like to see added to EVE. This month Keith “WebMandrill” Nielson proposes to reverse the question and ask what may be a controversial question: Which game mechanic would you most like to see removed completely from EVE and why? I can see this getting quite heated so lets keep it civil eh?

1. Diary of a Space Jockey, Blog Banter: BE GONE!
2. EVE Newb, (EVE) Remove You
3. Miner With Fangs, Blog Banter – It’s the Scotch
4. The Eden Explorer, Blog Banter: The Map! The Map!
5. The Wandering Druid of Tranquility, “Beacons, beacons, beacons, beacons, beacons, mushroom, MUSHROOM!!!”
6. Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, Kill the Rats
7. Mercspector @ EVE, Scotty
8. EVE’s Weekend Warrior, EVE Blog Banter #9
9. Miner with Fangs, Blog Banter – It’s the Scotch
10. A Merry Life and a Short One, Eve Blog Banter #9: Why Won’t You Die?
11. Into the unknown with gun and camera, Blog Banter – The Hokey Cokey
12. The Flightless Geek, EVE Blog Banter #9: Remove a Game Mechanic
13. Sweet Little Bad Girl, Blog Banter 9: Who is Nibbling at My House?
14. One Man and His Spaceship, Blog Banter 9: What could you do without?
15. Life in Low Sec, EVE Blog Banter #9: Stop Tarnishing My Halo
16. Cle Demaari: Citizen, Blog Banter #9: Training for all my men!
17. A Mule in EVE, He who giveth, also taketh away?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 30th, 2009 at 18:47 and is filed under Editorial. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.