Now, before I get all sorts of hate mail from all you dude smoochin’ pee-pee touchers out there, I reserve the right to use the word faggot. I use it a great many ways, none of which necessarily means you like a cock in your mouth. Myself and my other BOZOs use it with relish and zeal, not intending to oppress the gay homosexual penis lover population. It just means you’re some type of douchebag.

But I digress.

This post is actually for the faggots that we see, day after day, in Syndicate. You know the ones I’m talking about, and there’s a pretty good chance you are the ones I’m talking about. The cowards, the knee biters, the marathoners and the big talkers that constantly run and dock up when BOZO is around.

I like to think of myself as a helpful kind of person and being a helpful kind of person I have come up with a list of ways to not be a faggot.

I will never understand how any FC would run from an enemy when they have superior numbers. Many times, countless really, we’ve come close to engagements with hostiles knowing full well we were outnumbered only to have them run. If you and your buddies have went to the trouble of getting a fleet together, why the fuck not use it? I equate this to a construction site that has hired illegal aliens. One INS agent roles up to the site and the workers run like hell when it would have been very easy for them to gank the fuck out of the agent.

Case in point: We were in 4C-B7X today. This is the docking grounds of the Vanguard alliance. You may remember these cock gobblers from petting for such alliances as IAC and Foundation (interesting note: every allaince they’ve petted for has failed…coincidence or did they infect those alliances with their massive amounts of suck?)

We were scouted before arriving in the system and the brave Vanguarders undocked a raven, drake and onyx on the station. They were stupid enough to agress our scout, we jumped in and killed their onyx. We were in their system and they had over 30 pilots to my 10 man gang. The raven started the tried and true fagot maneuver of dock/undock once his shields went below 75%. While the raven was doing that, the rest of his cohorts began to tell us what a bunch of pussies we were. While they were docked. In a station. Wheird.

The point is: Don’t play station games because only fagots play station games.

There’s really no better way to come out of the closet and announce to the world you like to guzzle man-juice than to come to our system, call us out to fight, then run like bitches. I can’t even get my head wrapped around that. What kind of limp dicked bitch does that? A2N…that’s who. They come to ‘camp us in’ and run when we undock. I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to fight.

I utilize people’s biographies to identify would be faggot. I just ran across one today that marks this guy quite well. This is the bio of mdk kill (the name, in itself, is fag incarnate…), an A2N coward that has a lot of skill at whoring onto kill mails. He’s usually last to arrive at a fight and first to leave if there’s even a hint of defeat in the air. He left us an open letter:

Dear Clown Punchers,
I want to thank you for our most recent engagements. You have truly helped my killing efficiency. While I dont understand your tactics to jam our guns with your wrecks, I applaud your efforts.
However, I would like you to consider using better ships as I am trying to raise my ISK efficiently over 95%
Thanks in advance for your kind consideration.

Regards
MDK Kill

It’s obvious he’s in it for himself. Fuck it that his alliance has a 20% efficiency, fuck it that his alliance looks like a bunch of monkeys trying to fuck a football whenever we’re around. As long as his personal stats look good, he’s awesome..even though he never sticks it out in a fight. I thank you mdk kill for your bio of faggotness. It keeps you marked appropriately to all who see it.

More Bio hints in Foxworthy format:
-If you have rat damage types/resists in your bio…you’re a faggot
-If you have humorous quotes that aren’t remotely humorous…you’re a faggot
-If you quote yourself…you’re a faggot
-If you post a damage notification in your bio…you’re a faggot
-If you post a damage notification versus a rat in your bio…you’re a double faggot
-If you have ascii in your bio…it better be original or you’re a faggot

There you have it! A few sure fired ways to decrease your faggot quotient exponentially!

Tags: a2n, faggot, faggotness, faggots, faggoty

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 23:27 and is filed under Editorial. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.