For all of you faggots that keep mailing me saying we only talk about our wins, this is for you. We got dick stomped today in a resounding defeat.

After a long roam out to Fountain in a small (about man HAC gang, we were nearly home when we are alerted to the fact that CoT was chasing us in their own HAC gang. Sniper HACs numbering about 20. Our FC get’s us back to our house, we refit, get a few more pilots and go after them.

I had assumed that CoT wanted to fight, but they ended up hauling ass. No love…no kills.

Since we had a nice little fleet up, I decide to do a short roam in Syndicate towards MHC. There had been reports of CH active in that area with an equal sized HAC/Logi gang.

We get to MHC with very little in the way of targets. Very dead to be honest. We did pass a couple CH on the way down so I was hopeful that when we returned, there would be a gang waiting for us.

I was not disappointed. Cry Havoc had assembled a nice fleet for us to fight. About 7 command ships with various HACs, recons and light tackle. We found out they were on the MHC gate in F67, the gate we were already in warp to when we got the intel. I held the fleet there until we could get exact ship types. (more…)

Sons of Tangra corp Foundation (not to be confused with the now defunct GW alliance of the same name) is currently living in Syndicate. We found this out by face stomping them one day while they camped Ass 2 Mouth into their station in 0T-AMZ. I think you can find out more about this from one of our BOZOKasts (if you haven’t heard one, you’re denying yourself orgasmic auditory bliss). Now that Ass 2 Mouth have left that pocket, these Foundation fuckers have been out and about in Cloud Ring camping systems, running from us, sucking homeless guys balls and acting like little girls with a yeast infection.

BOZO generally doesn’t need to do long boring roams because there’s usually plenty of retards to shoot close to home. Today, however, I decided to take a fleet out to Fountain, the alleged home of SoT and their foul breathed overlords, Pandemic Legion. I wanted to see what SoT could muster if we went fucking around in their home region.

After a lengthy journey, we finally arrive in Fountain. The first thing we did was instapop a Raven sitting active and un-agressed on a station in PQN. It was a member of Event Horizon (who the fuck are these guys?) and we didn’t give him a chance to dock. I told my pilots to lock him then on a three count we shot all at once. He cried in local.

Two Thanatos’ undocked after the raven died. I had my pilots loot the raven and we warped off. Oddly enough, one of my pilots warped his Hurricane to a planet and was followed by the two carriers. I’m no fuckin’ Einstein, but that seemed more retarded than the Raven pilot. What kind of luxurious life have these faggots been enjoying out there in Fountain that they chase people around in dual carriers? I will never know.

Not really knowing the lay of the land in Fountain, I arbitrarily pick CHA2 as a destination and sent my scout ahead. Luckily, our engagement with SoT was not nearly that far. (more…)

An eventful day was drawing to a close. We had a good engagement with Evoke Evoke. After a quick jerk, nap and a sandwich, we were ready for more blood letting.

Our FC assembled a nice HAC gang and we headed out looking for the elusive Ass 2 Mouth alliance that seems to never want to fight us, despite their yappery saying they are going to somehow evict us from Syndicate. We had caught word that they headed in the direction of 4C-B (Outer Ring). We followed a few minutes after them, but they had hauled ass. No sign of them at all.

We were going to head back to Syndicate proper when we found out there’s a Huzzah camp on the 4C-B gate in F-X. We were outnumbered and they had a few BS, Hacs, Recons and various tackle to our HAC gang. They had us out gunned and numbered, so we decided to see if they would jump into us.

In true Huzzah form, they left F-X. We pursue them, but kept our distance. We had to make sure when we did engage them, that we had the better field position to level the playing field a bit. We play this cat and mouse game a bit until we end up in D5IW on the 1L-BHT gate. They were sitting on the other side at jump range.
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There was electicity in the air. I felt it in my ballsack. My pilots could feel it as well. There were going to be murders tonight.

I sent my scout out to reconnoiter the situation. It wasn’t long before he started giving us the situation: Vangaurd had a fleet in 0T-AMZ. I dropped my coffee cup. As it was shattering on the floor I was already grabbing my goo resistant pod suit out of the dirty clothes and running for the hanger.

I grabbed the bullhorn on my way out of the office and start screaming as I ran through the station corridors, “The faggots are out…I repeat…the FAGGOTS ARE OUT!”

I had forgot what night it was. It was 8-Ball Saturday. 8-ball Saturday was the day our weekly shipment of coke and whores made it to our station. Usually you can’t get the average BOZO out of their bunks on 8-ball Saturday, but they knew what “The faggots are out” meant. All my guys, coked up out of their minds, came running down the hall behind me, in various states of undress. They all had erections.

I might say at this point the phrase “the faggots are out” refers not only to Vanguard, but speaks to the fact that they don’t undock, and if they do, they will rarely leave their system. We recently had an altercation with them where they had lost a Rohk while playing fag docking games at their main station in 4C-B7X. After we had killed, looted and salvaged it, Vangaurd, in their glorious faggotry, undocked 4 carriers as we were warping off. They then called us cowards and redocked when we sent a scout back to the station.

Back to the story.

I ordered my pilots to initiate Plan: Stomp the Homo-Beta. For security reasons, I can’t go into more details other than we rolled out in some battleships. I gave the undock command, broadcasted destination and punched up the coordinates in my nav computer. The fleet was underway.
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