-Quebnaric in Coding Fever Mode-

BOZOkast 10 is in the works and coming soon! Some of us have been pretty busy as of late, work, school, getting shit caught up before our big BOZO Extravaganza in Mexico next month, etc, but we haven’t forgotten about you.

CKIAGFEBBC is a go but we still need more entries! Based on our number of dedicated listeners… get off your asses and write! We will be posting a list of the available prizes that might provide you with some more incentive to get those creative writing juices flowing.

Stay tuned fuckers,
Tolarus

I caught wind of a group of Stella Polaris in the area of 8V-SJJ in Syndicate that were apparently trying to probe out some other small hostile gang (Strip Miners I think). I get a quick gang together and beat feet their way.

I find out their gang consisted of: 4 interceptors, 2 logistics, 2 Curse, 2 Drake, Falcon, Rook, Harbinger 3, Hurricane, 2 Drakes, Ishtar, Onyx, Rapier and a Sabre. BOZO fleet was only 15 with mixed tackle and a few BCs.

By the time we formed up and got moving, our scout found them on the PF-346 gate in FD-MLJ. As some of you may already know, PF-346 is home to the Perma-Gatecamp of Faggotry that CH holds day in and day out.

I had planned on taking my fleet to another gate (X-M2LR) and see if they would follow. I had assumed that the Stella Polaris fleet was actually looking for a fight and the fact that they had superior numbers, ECM and logistical support, they would chase us. But I had underestimated their FC’s ability to be the biggest pussy ever seen in the EvE Universe. (more…)

We’ve heard your voices and we have received literally hundreds of emails demanding that we provide you with your next fix of BOZOcast goodness. Folks, a lot of things have been going on over the past few weeks that have kept our plate full, but we have not forgotten about you.

From seriously and repeatedly dick stomping a complete cunt of a fucktard named Dunbar and his lack luster alliance of mental retardation, work schedules, marijuana addiction recovery and the fucking NHL® Playoffs. All of these have been contributing factors affecting several of the cast and technical crew that has temporarily delayed the high quality, organically grown, hardcore, white knuckled, cornucopia of audio bliss you have come to enjoy…

fear not and stay tuned

As some of you already know, Clown Punchers Syndicate is departing Curse to seek adventure (and people who don’t run as soon as they see the BOZO ticker in local) elsewhere. Curse has been our home from the beginning, so we knew we had to pay homage to the region that’s brought us so much beautiful loot and cannonfodder.

What can I say about a fleet of haulers and noobships? It certainly shouldn’t last very long in the cut-throat world of 0.0. There aren’t enough mid-slots to go around, not to mention the obvious lack of firepower. Surely a mere 22-man fleet with this composition should be wiped out so fast they have to wipe up afterwards.

So why, my dear readers, should a fleet consisting of two Badger Mark IIs, three Reapers, two Mammoths, a Wreathe, an Iteron Mark V, and a metric assload of Velators even consider undocking? What fevered dream of a madman is this? What kind of crazy, homeless, crack-addicted, balding, peg-legged, incontinent hooker could even conceive of such a notion?

I’ll tell you what kind. The kind that flies with BOZO.

The results of our massive cojones speak for themselves. Just one jump from our home system, a heedless Nighthawk was ratting without regard to who was in local or what kind of STD they might contract from being anally raped. Yes, Khan Rean really dropped the soap on this one, as our fleet of rookie-industrial glory warped in. The progress was slow, because Khan wouldn’t stop repping when we asked him. Rather rude, I should say. But his Nighthawk inevitably succumbed to our autocannons and blasters, just as his body will now succumb to the ravages of BOZO AIDS.

Before we could even finish pleasuring ourselves, we were treated to some smack from the now-shipless Nighthawk pilot, including this indecipherable tidbit:

Khan Rean > now i get yourself on the nerve

Someone set us up the bomb!

Not far away, Dalv Filteo of Ushra’Khan showed his love by giving us his Claw while trying to get a few noobship kills. We love you, Dalv! You’ll be happy to know, as a former ally, you are immune to BOZO AIDS. However, The Clown Clap is quite aggressive.

Anyway, we decided to challenge ourselves to top the Nighthawk kill, so off we went. In D87E-A, Rebellion Alliance showed us just how much they respect and fear us by bringing three Crows, a Curse, three Drakes, a Falcon, a Malediction, a Retribution, a Scimitar, a Vexor, and two Zealots to challenge our rookie-industrial fleet. We lost a couple of ships, but since they cost us nothing to begin with, we weren’t deterred.

Oh Rebellion, we never knew you felt that way! Why didn’t you say something sooner!? Now we’re shipping off, and we may never come back! If we don’t see you again… thanks for making yourselves available so many times. You should probably get tested if you notice any large, painful warts on your genitals that honk when you squeeze them.

Proceeding into HED-GP, we found a few Triple-A ships, and their Curse pilot was just stupid enough to think he could take on a fleet of BOZOs alone, even in noobships. After we castrated and dispatched him, and left the scene, they had this to say:

Monseniur Khatshatou > where’s the action?
Jatu > where
Jel Malar > Ask the curse pilot
Nkalv > my misstake i thougth we jsut where there and killed a curse of yourse
Quebnaric Deile > you can kill all of us and it doesn’t cover your curse, lol
Teister > lol
Tolarus > lol
Tolarus > youve already lost the fight

We proceeded on our way, but in 36N-HZ, we met our demise. Evidently, Triple-A really wanted to avenge their special-needs pilot. We must’ve ruined his birthday, and you know how hard it is to get a fully-grown retard to stop crying and punching holes in the wall. They brought about thirty ships into the system to destroy our rookie-industrial fleet, but unfortunately the battle summary only reflects a portion. Suffice it to say, there were a lot of Drakes, as our noobships obviously called for heavy tank in response. We attempted to get one of their Sabres, but he was as slippery as an eleven-year-old girl’s vagina at a Jonas Brothers concert. In the end, Triple-A saved us the trouble of flying all the way back to Hemin by podding most of us.

And thus, our reign of terror in Curse comes to a close. As the final curtain descends on this non-stop orgy of death, destruction, corpse-raping, and enemies handing us free ships by premature ejectulation, I’d like to thank our many, many adversaries. Though few (if any) of you were actually worthy, your incessant stupidity and endless petitions only contributed to our love of PVP, and reinforced our devotion to Clown Punchers by showing us just how bad it is in other corporations.

Farewell, Curse. You may now resume your normal carebear operations.

I’d like to wish myself and all other BOZOs a happy first birthday. It’s been an awesome year, full of face rape and good times.  When I took my corp out of our last alliance and joined forces with Daft and Fabul to create Clown Punchers, I had no idea that this alliance would become so fucking awesome.

Over the last year, we’ve developed into well oiled machine of vile hatred and ass kickin’ animosity. We’ve taken our time recruiting, making sure we get the best quality people in BOZO and still managed to nearly triple in size. Our logistical support, ship replacement and training is the best in EvE in my humble opinion.

First, I’d like to thank those of you out there who have been at the wrong end of our giant porn sized cocks. Without you whiny douchebags out there, our KB wouldn’t look so fuckin’ tasty. Notably, I’d like to thank OWN and all the other Dawson’s Creek residents for allowning us to farm them for the last 6 months. The ball stomping you’ve recieved from us was a pleasure to dish out and our black ops campaign against you dipshits was a god damn riot.

Other notable adversaries include the now defunkt IAC (your blobs were still no match for us), Goons (fuck you and your mothership too) and the French.

Mad props to our superduperbestbuddies, UK and Firm. You guys have always been there for us and are always ready to jump in with our gangs no matter the odds. Huzzah!

The friends I’ve made since this all started is, by far, the best thing I’ve experienced in the last year. The guys and gals in this alliance are some of the funniest faggots I’ve ever met. They are also have extremetly large cocks (even the chicks). It’s good for smackin’ the fuck out of our enemies with. Curse residents have been spackled with mushroom stamps over the last year and will continue to get smacked for many years to come.

So hat’s off to you BOZOs!

We’ve added a new Holiday theme to our killboard this week. We’ll let it run until Janurary before switching to the Winter theme from later year with some new updates. Enjoy.

So it looks like our dear friends in IAC really got their over inflated egos in a ringer. I remember about two months ago when a blob of IAC came in and started stinking up the air in 5E (I think it was 5E but then again it really doesn’t matter). After exchanging a few ‘pleasantries’ in local one of their loud mouthed pilots thought it would be funny to point out how BOZO were a bunch of fags for living in NPC stations and would never be super cool and neat like IAC. Couldn’t have asked for a better setup.

Well fast forward to the present. Think of this map as a Wheres Waldo search, can you find IAC space? So not only has IAC had their teeth kicked in by AAA but now they are living in Curse, in NPC stations. Sitting around remembering the good ‘ol days. Its neat yeah? Living in an NPC station now? Hey, remember that time when you were forced out of Catch on your knees and had to come live in NPC stations?

Maybe if you slobber on their feet and offer them the 2 billion isk a month for the rent they charge the other low life’s your TCF pals will take you under their wing and give you a warm place to live. Hell they might even give you a reach around. I’m sure they would have rushed right over to assist in your defence if they didnt have their hands full dealing with Foundation.

I hear Wicked Creek is lovely this time of year and theres plenty of good ratting to be had.

Karma is a real bitch sometimes I guess, and you’ve more than earned it.

Goodfellas admitted during a meeting with a Clown Puncher official on Thursday that they were planning to move to the north to capitalize on the apparent chaos that has been caused in Deklein by BoB’s MAX campaign. They will attempt to claim their own space, outposts and install pets for money making purposes. At the time of the meeting, Goodfellas had already begun to move assets out of Curse.

All this was on the heels of Endeva’s master plan to push TCF out of Curse altogether by creating a large coalition of all anti-TCF corps/alliances that were operating in the region. This coalition included Clown Punchers, Goodfellas, UK and a bunch of other entities whose worth was very questionable.

After a quick meeting, Clown Punchers decided to leave the coalition. A mass resetting of standings ensued.

Clown Punchers felt that the coalition was, at it’s roots, a good idea. Goodfella’s planning and implementation of it was horrible though.

As soon as the Clown Punchers resets were finished, plans for a new coalition were in the works. This new coalition would be carefully planned and implemented. The new project, called Rabid Badger Coalition (RBC), would have solid goals, tactical planning and an actual selection process of who would be allowed to participate.

Due to the influx of comments, mails and smoke signals, I feel it necessary to address this obvious alt and his fail post on CAOD.

Initial Retard post on CAOD
As you see, it got moderated because Jessica’s owner is a cowardly bitch. It essentially said why does O.W.N alliance suck blah blah blah.

Now, of course, O.W.N thinks it was one of my beloved Clown Punchers who posted it, but that just isn’t true. We don’t, in general, condone posts on CAOD from our members outside official announcements from BOZO leadership.

If you’d like to know who Jessica really belongs to, all you had to do is do about 45 seconds of research and viola!: He tells you exactly who he is in this post on the recruitment forums! AMAZING!

Pete X is the schmuck responsible for all this. This guy, for only being about a year old, has more corp history than alot of 03 chars I know, and more importantly, he has absoulutely nothing to do with BOZO.

So, kiss my ass…

One of our pilots noticed that one of the guys who used to be red to us showed up neutral after logging into the station we had camped him into for the last 24 hours. We then realised that the corp Demon Theory had left O.W.N Alliance.

I contacted Demon Theory CEO Viceroy Demon and he gave me a brief interview:

[ 2008.08.07 23:43:55 ] Teister > howdy
[ 2008.08.07 23:43:57 ] Teister > you got a sec?
[ 2008.08.07 23:44:49 ] Viceroy Demon > sure
[ 2008.08.07 23:45:05 ] Teister > i’d like to know why you left OWN alliance first off
[ 2008.08.07 23:46:16 ] Viceroy Demon > i cant officially answer that question for a week
[ 2008.08.07 23:46:27 ] Viceroy Demon > but I think you know why
[ 2008.08.07 23:46:42 ] Teister > humor me…
[ 2008.08.07 23:46:49 ] Viceroy Demon > unofficially, we can’t make money which makes it useless to be in Wicked Creek and OWN alliance. OWN never liked us anyways and would treat us badly for being ‘carebears”.
[ 2008.08.07 23:47:09 ] Teister > wow, that sucks
[ 2008.08.07 23:47:35 ] Viceroy Demon > yeah…own is dieing anyways. I’m not sure if it was ever really alive tbh. They can’t even protect thier ratters and industrialist…the guys who are making money for the alliance. Who was it that hired you guys to do this to us by the way?
[ 2008.08.07 23:48:14 ] Teister > I’m the one asking the questions here….but rest assured that that it was your own alliance mate…
[ 2008.08.07 23:49:15 ] Viceroy Demon > figures , they were always trying to pressure us into pvp
[ 2008.08.07 23:49:31 ] Teister > Are you guys still going to operate in WC?
[ 2008.08.07 23:50:16 ] Viceroy Demon > lol, no way!

This said, it is rumored that Demon Theory didn’t actually leave but was kicked from O.W.N involuntarily for unknown reasons. It is speculated that they were kicked because Redrum felt intimidated by them.