I thought it would be interesting, if not entertaining, to delve into the world of EvE Bloggers. There’s this guy, Crazykinux (possibly better known for putting people to sleep with his podcast “Drone Bay Active” or some such bullshit), who is really into this blogging thing and apparently has a monthly ‘EvE Blog Banter‘ where some question or topic is posed and people with blogs write about it. Kind of lame stuff, I admit, but this month, there are prizes! Truth be told, I’m an accomplished swag whore and I want that fucking EvE bottle opener key chain.

This months topic on the EvE Blog Banter is:

Which game mechanic would you most like to see removed completely from EVE and why?

An intriguing question, no doubt. I have briefly perused some responses made by people linked on Crazy’s blog.  I am not overly impressed.
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There was electicity in the air. I felt it in my ballsack. My pilots could feel it as well. There were going to be murders tonight.

I sent my scout out to reconnoiter the situation. It wasn’t long before he started giving us the situation: Vangaurd had a fleet in 0T-AMZ. I dropped my coffee cup. As it was shattering on the floor I was already grabbing my goo resistant pod suit out of the dirty clothes and running for the hanger.

I grabbed the bullhorn on my way out of the office and start screaming as I ran through the station corridors, “The faggots are out…I repeat…the FAGGOTS ARE OUT!”

I had forgot what night it was. It was 8-Ball Saturday. 8-ball Saturday was the day our weekly shipment of coke and whores made it to our station. Usually you can’t get the average BOZO out of their bunks on 8-ball Saturday, but they knew what “The faggots are out” meant. All my guys, coked up out of their minds, came running down the hall behind me, in various states of undress. They all had erections.

I might say at this point the phrase “the faggots are out” refers not only to Vanguard, but speaks to the fact that they don’t undock, and if they do, they will rarely leave their system. We recently had an altercation with them where they had lost a Rohk while playing fag docking games at their main station in 4C-B7X. After we had killed, looted and salvaged it, Vangaurd, in their glorious faggotry, undocked 4 carriers as we were warping off. They then called us cowards and redocked when we sent a scout back to the station.

Back to the story.

I ordered my pilots to initiate Plan: Stomp the Homo-Beta. For security reasons, I can’t go into more details other than we rolled out in some battleships. I gave the undock command, broadcasted destination and punched up the coordinates in my nav computer. The fleet was underway.
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Don’t miss this episode! Syndicate update, now with 50% more faggotryness, Know a Bozo, the upcoming alliance tournament and why CCP should go fuck itself. Oh, and two chicks sucking…

Links From This Episode

• Vangaurd showed some balls…then we stomped them

• Sorry LeTrange, but this shit is funny…

• EvE Dev blog for the fail Alliance Tournament coming up

Sign up for our BOZOKast feed here

If you’re a dumbass and close the inpage player, go to the feed and you can download it.

Now, before I get all sorts of hate mail from all you dude smoochin’ pee-pee touchers out there, I reserve the right to use the word faggot. I use it a great many ways, none of which necessarily means you like a cock in your mouth. Myself and my other BOZOs use it with relish and zeal, not intending to oppress the gay homosexual penis lover population. It just means you’re some type of douchebag.

But I digress.

This post is actually for the faggots that we see, day after day, in Syndicate. You know the ones I’m talking about, and there’s a pretty good chance you are the ones I’m talking about. The cowards, the knee biters, the marathoners and the big talkers that constantly run and dock up when BOZO is around.

I like to think of myself as a helpful kind of person and being a helpful kind of person I have come up with a list of ways to not be a faggot.

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The BOZOKast team recently caught up with Dunbar Regan, leader of CeV to discuss his lifestyle, his alliance of fail and other neat things!

In this episode we bring you the new podcast format with continuous takes! Recorded Live! No edits just all BOZOKAST! We have a lot to cover and including CEV and A2N and we revisit some of our old friends and how they are doing. We talk about recruitment as always and some shot outs to our usual listeners.

Links From This Episode

• The Coalition of Fail Campaign
• Oh Noes! They haz equal sized ships!
• We always blob, never out numbered.
• The CEV Soundboard (almost as good as the Hydra one)
• Burnt Dirt roll on TCF and start sucking a new dick.
• The BOZO Extravagana 2009 (for our members new and old)
• ts5p loses a Guardian to HUZZAH, unrelated, but funny.

Sign up for our BOZOKast feed here

If you’re a dumbass and close the inpage player, go to the feed and you can download it.

We’ve heard your voices and we have received literally hundreds of emails demanding that we provide you with your next fix of BOZOcast goodness. Folks, a lot of things have been going on over the past few weeks that have kept our plate full, but we have not forgotten about you.

From seriously and repeatedly dick stomping a complete cunt of a fucktard named Dunbar and his lack luster alliance of mental retardation, work schedules, marijuana addiction recovery and the fucking NHL® Playoffs. All of these have been contributing factors affecting several of the cast and technical crew that has temporarily delayed the high quality, organically grown, hardcore, white knuckled, cornucopia of audio bliss you have come to enjoy…

fear not and stay tuned

First, FRAPPE, you have been asking yourselves, why has Dunbar pushed this onto your shoulders? Your corporation alone being tasked with single handedly defending your alliances 0.0 assets?
“We’ll let the Greeks handle Clowns” an alliance of 230 plus pilots shoving this all on you? And Dunbar, after insulting us, has the balls to play this off like he doesn’t know how it started? The truth is that Dunbar landed you in this situation.

Even now he is desperately looking for ways to escape his responsibility for what’s happening. Pushing the blame onto others, groveling on his knees begging for outside assistance. Spreading lies and withholding the truth from the members of his alliance and others in order to protect his overly sensitive ego.

Attempting to gain outside help so he can sit behind the action, throwing insults and boasting, just as he’s been doing to those within in very own alliance. Your ships explode while he sits in the safety of a station, he continues to lie to you while you pay the price for his actions and insults.

We offered you our assistance in the beginning, we were willing to teach your pilots the skills they need to survive in 0.0 along with our offers of protection. And all we asked for in return for a very nominal fee, very nominal. But Dunbar spat in our faces and threw a temper tantrum, then he insulted us, repeatedly. Because of this we were unfortunately forced to take appropriate action. Even in the beginning we continued to repeatedly extend offers to find a solution to end this before it got ugly. Dunbar refused without even taking a moment to consider his own alliance, the pilots that are now having to pay for Dunbars actions.

You’re paying the costs of defending your POS’s. You’re paying the price to replace your ships. This is costing you isk, yet another expense that the hard working miners and mission runners of Chaotic Evolution are forced to pay for. And for what? A small area in 0.0 that Dunbar seems fixated on? Where is Dunbar and why isn’t he leading you?

We have officially declared May the month of mayhem when it comes to ship fittings. But never in the history of BOZO, well the exception being sCorched dirt, have we come across a bigger cluster fuck than Chaotic Evolution who are apparently standing ”toe to toe” with us at the moment. Here are just a few examples of their The PvP greatness.

Most expensive Kestrel in EvE

Yes, anchor those guns while we’re shooting your tower

”Look at my bullshit fit! Woooo!”

and he came back

These empty fittings are just extra

Ass beating by bombers

”I like shield mods”

“Rigs will make me a better pilot”

These CPUs will help

And there was a great gnashing of teeth

ok, the best way to do this is to click here. Theres no way I can post every worthless fit these pilots fly. Feel free to browse the list and pick any random ship you want. 99.9% of them will be fit for failure.

Lots of people are asking, where is the next episode!? Don’t worry, episode 6 is on the way and this episode will be a special one.

• All the participants will be in the same studio.
• We will most likely all be drunk. (usually only 1 of us is)
• This will be a LIVE recording.
• It will be largely unedited.

All of these are things we have never done before. The reason for the delay was to allow the moons to properly align so that T and myself would be in the same location at the same time. All guests on this episode will be present in the studio and will potentially include (in alphabetical order): Arancia, Jel, Tolarus, and Zenethian.

Vibe our sound man will have his work cut out for him in this episode (is my mic hot Vibe?) and our editing team will get a much needed break (and by team, I mean Teister). So hope you all enjoy this episode, expect it to be out very very soon ™.

Queb.